Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
