We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
