I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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