i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
