I think I died a long time ago.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
