Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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