I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
