Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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