Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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