I am in a vortex of obligation.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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