and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
