I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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