Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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