no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
