Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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