So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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