You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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