Taylor Swift is so right about you.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
