he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
