Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
