My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
