Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize