..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
