Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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