She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
