im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
