I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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