when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
