Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
