After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
