So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
