pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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