Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
