I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
