So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize