Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
