Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
