Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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