So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A bitchslap is in order.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
