My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize