i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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