O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
