I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize