I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
