is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
