where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You ruined the universe
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
