just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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