so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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