First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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