i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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