Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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