Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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