I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to make out with him forever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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