Who wears a wallet chain?!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
