this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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