I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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