Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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