Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently you make a good broom.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
