He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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