I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
