You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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