last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
