drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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